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Kat-a-Log Forum discussing catfishing
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katfish Site Admin
Joined: 19 Jul 2005 Posts: 1283 Location: Ohio
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Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:56 am Post subject: My version of Politically correct |
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The Obama economy utilizes a system of carefully monitored checks and balances. He writes the checks, you pay the balance.
ObamaCare will provide taxpayers with plenty of bitter pills.
Q. If the Obama administration was a football division, what would the teams be called?
A. The Stealers, the Bills, the Chargers and the Lyings.
President Obama decided to do one of his public addresses against the backdrop of an American farm, but the ceremony couldn't get started because of all the flies buzzing around his head. Obama demanded to know why the flies wouldn't leave, so the farmer explained to him, "Well, those are called circle flies. They always circle around the back end of horses." Obama angrily replied, "Hey, are you saying that I'm a horse's ass?" The farmer answered, "No Sir, Mister President. I would never call someone a horse's ass. It's hard to fool them flies though."
Bill Clinton, Joe Biden and Barack Obama go into a bar. Bill tells the barkeeper, "I'll have a B and C." Obama whispers, "What is a B and C?" "That's a bourbon and Coke," Clinton answers. Then Biden orders, "I'll have a G and T." Obama again whispers, "What's a G and T?" "A gin and tonic," Joe replies. Obama wants to seem like he's one of the guys so he tells the barkeeper, "I'll have a 15." Now it's the bartender's turn to ask, "What's a 15?" Obama says, "A 7 and 7."
You remember the Reagan era, when Ronald Reagan was President, and Bob Hope and Johnny Cash were still with us? Well, now we have Obama, no hope, and no cash.
In the washroom at the airport I saw a handwritten sign posted over one of those hot air hand dryers: "Please push button and listen for a short message from the President!"..........There's nothing like "hot air" and the smell of crap to give you that true Obama experience!!!!
Like any corrupt Chicago politician, Obama would frequently go the cemetery to register voters. One night he came across a grave so old and worn that he couldn't make out the name on the tombstone. The staffer holding the flashlight got impatient and suggested that they just move on to the next plot. Obama angrily exclaimed, "This person has as much right to vote as anyone else here!"
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, 'I ♥ Obama.' I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health. _________________ Catchabiggun,
Robby |
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katfish Site Admin
Joined: 19 Jul 2005 Posts: 1283 Location: Ohio
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Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 8:31 am Post subject: |
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IT'S BUSH'S FAULT!
Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said toThe Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.
“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to changeAmerica when you don’t know shit?
I'll get you my little pretty!
Barack Obama, at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas , asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence..
Then Obama said into the microphone, "Children, uh, every time I, uh, clap my hands together, a, uh, child in America dies from, uh, gun violence."
Little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said, '' Well, dummy, stop clapping!" _________________ Catchabiggun,
Robby |
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CC
Joined: 21 Jul 2005 Posts: 371 Location: Newcomerstown, Ohio
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Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 8:47 am Post subject: |
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Where did you find this stuff? Thats funny! Ill have to show the wizard he will get a kick out of it.
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